Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
