So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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