i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
