wake up i wanna do it froggy style
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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