just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
