he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
