this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
