who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
