I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
