your room smells of hookers.
And success
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
