She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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