Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
