The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
