I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
