Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
