Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
