dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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