i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
