I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
