It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
