not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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