I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
