Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
