her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
