help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize