You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
