Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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