There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
