Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
