It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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