when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
