Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Pants are for mortals
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
