Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
