I want to stick my p in your. b.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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