i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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