Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
