So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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