Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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