just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize