WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
