That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
