Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
The ass gains better be worth it
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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