Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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