she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
