Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
