This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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