He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
