Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
