I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
