hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize