The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
