Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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