just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
