Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
worst night to have a conscience
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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