hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
