awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
