i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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