they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
