I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
