I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
