we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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