I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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