dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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