Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
