Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize