Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
